To an extent, we were all just going to do what we’re all going to do, and isn’t that such an enormous relief? After all, most of the time, we work with what we have to work with, we gravitate towards the things that make us happy, we source ideas and inspiration that are wholly unique and individual to us, and most of those processes are not even necessarily conscious, let alone active. People emerge from the womb a blank slate and fill the space with the things they’re naturally interested in. However, to be successful with what you want takes something behind active measures: you have to know yourself, make a practice out of your dreams, angle yourself towards the You who has always dwelled in your mind, and work hard at being Your Best Self. But the rest? Just keep dreaming. Earl Nightingale (1921-1989) | American author & radio personality
Top 10 Thoughts To Eliminate As a REALTOR and in Your Personal Life:
1. Defeatist – a person who is accepting, expecting, or being resigned to defeat. Often linked to pessimism in psychology. How many of us have thought about defeat before we have even begun?
2. Cynical – a person who believes people are motivated by self-interest. They are distrustful of human nature and motives. How many of us question others sincerity and integrity.
3. Vindictive – a person who has or shows a strong and unreasoning desire for revenge. Have you ever met someone that is always out to get back at someone else?
4. Blame/Fault – a person who assigns responsibility to someone or something else. How many of us are the “who cares?” “what are we going to do now?” type of people.
5. Wishful – a person who expresses the desire or hope of something to happen even though it is not happening. They do what they can to influence the project, situation, deal and just keep moving.
6. Self-pity – an excessive, self-absorbed unhappiness over your own troubles. Have you met someone that needs to get over themselves … stop making excuses … no more drama or complaints?
7. Worrisome – a person who is full of anxiety and concern. Worrying won’t help, costs you time, and can drag you and others down.
8. Jealous – a person feeling or showing envy of someone or their achievements and advantages. If you want that achievement, then earn it!
9. Pre-argumentative – a person who builds their own imaginary argument and prepares themselves for the argument that may never happen. Imagine the energy and time we waste doing this?
10. Procrastinate – a person who always delays or postpones action and puts off doing something. If you’re going to procrastinate, it makes sense to do something fun instead of thinking about how bad it is you’re procrastinating.
Eliminating these thoughts might be impossible but minimizing them (and their impact) is completely doable. Here is the approach to eliminating these wasteful thoughts…
• Recognize them when they come up.
• Remind yourself they’re a costly distraction.
• Redirect your thinking (and/or doing) to something positive.
Embrace the simplicity by staying inspired and remember these are not our own thoughts, we just have friends with these kinds of wasteful thoughts 😉
The “power of positive thinking” is a popular concept, and sometimes it can feel a little cliché. But the physical and mental benefits of positive thinking both personally and in your real estate business have been demonstrated by multiple scientific studies. Positive thinking can give you more confidence, improve your mood, and even reduce the likelihood of developing conditions such as hypertension, depression, and other stress-related disorders. All this sounds great, but what does the “power of positive thinking” really mean? You can define positive thinking as positive imagery, positive self-talk or general optimism, but these are all still general, ambiguous concepts. If you want to be effective in thinking and being more positive, you’ll need concrete examples to help you through the process.
Clever Tricks to Trigger Positive Emotions
1.)Start the day with positive affirmations.How you start the morning sets the tone for the rest of the day. Have you ever woken up late, panicked, and then felt like nothing good happened the rest of the day? This is likely because you started out the day with a negative emotion and a pessimistic view that carried into every other event you experienced. Instead of letting this dominate you, start your day with positive affirmations. Talk to yourself in the mirror, even if you feel silly, with statements like, “Today will be a good day” or “I’m going to be awesome today.” You’ll be amazed how much your day improves. Tell yourself these positive things every day.
2.)Focus on the good things, however small.Almost invariably, you’re going to encounter obstacles throughout the day—there’s no such thing as a perfect day. When you encounter such a challenge, focus on the benefits, no matter how slight or unimportant they seem. For example, if you get stuck in traffic, think about how you now have time to listen to the rest of your favorite podcast. If the store is out of the food you want to prepare, think about the thrill of trying something new. Find your silver lining.
3.) Find humor in bad situations. Allow yourself to experience humor in even the darkest or most trying situations. Remind yourself this situation will probably make for a good story later and try to crack a joke about it. Say you’re laid off; imagine the most absurd way you could spend your last day, or the most ridiculous job you could pursue next—like kangaroo handler or bubblegum sculptor.
4.) Turn failures into lessons. You aren’t perfect.You’re going to make mistakes and experience failure in multiple contexts, at multiple jobs and with multiple people. Instead of focusing on how you failed, think about what you’re going to do next time—turn your failure into a lesson. Conceptualize this in concrete rules. For example, you could produce three new rules for managing projects as a result. You’re going to fail. Learn to use it to your advantage.
5.) Transform negative self-talk into positive self-talk. Negative self-talk can creep up easily and is often hard to notice. You might think I’m so bad at this or I shouldn’t have tried that. But these thoughts turn into internalized feelings and might cement your conceptions of yourself. When you catch yourself doing this, stop and replace those negative messages with positive ones. For example, “I’m so bad at this becomes”, “Once I get more practice, I’ll be way better at this”. “I shouldn’t have tried” becomes “That didn’t work out as planned—maybe next time”. Silence the negative voice in your head.
6.)Focus on the present. I’m talking about the present—not today, not this hour, only this exact moment. You might be getting chewed out by your boss, but what in this exact moment is happening that’s so bad? Forget the comment he made five minutes ago. Forget what he might say five minutes from now. Focus on this one, individual moment. In most situations, you’ll find it’s not as bad as you imagine it to be. Most sources of negativity stem from a memory of a recent event or the exaggerated imagination of a potential future event. Stay in the present moment. Be right where you are. Live in the moment.
7.)Find positive friends, mentors, and co-workers. When you surround yourself with positive people, you’ll hear positive outlooks, positive stories, and positive affirmations. Their positive words will sink in and affect your own line of thinking, which then affects your words and similarly contributes to the group. Finding positive people to fill up your life can be difficult, but you need to eliminate the negativity in your life before it consumes you. Do what you can to improve the positivity of others, and let their positivity affect you the same way. Surround yourself with 5 amazing people. Almost anybody in any situation can apply these lessons to their own lives and increase their positive attitude.
As you might imagine, positive thinking offers compounding returns, so the more often you practice it, the greater benefits you’ll realize.
Happy New Year Agents! I put together a list of 20 tips to help you achieve a positive 2022.
1. Stay Positive. You can listen to the cynics and doubters and believe that success is impossible or you can trust that with faith and an optimistic attitude all things are possible.
2. Take a daily “Thank You Walk.” You can’t be stressed and thankful at the same time. Feel blessed and you won’t be stressed.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and less foods manufactured in plants.
4. Talk to yourself instead of listen to yourself. Instead of listening to your complaints, fears and doubts, talk to yourself with words of truth and encouragement.
5. Post a sign that says “No Energy Vampires Allowed.” Gandhi said, “I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet,” and neither should you! Watch This.
6. Be a Positive Team Member. Being positive doesn’t just make you better, it makes everyone around you better.
7. Don’t chase success. Decide to make a difference and success will find you. [ Tweet This ]
8. Get more sleep. You can’t replace sleep with a double latte.
9. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control.
10. Look for opportunities to Love, Serve and Care. You don’t have to be great to serve but you have to serve to be great.
11. Live your purpose. Remember why you do what you do. We don’t get burned out because of what we do. We get burned out because we forget why we do it.
12. Remember, there’s no such thing as an overnight success. Love the process and you’ll love what the process produces.
13. Trust that everything happens for a reason and expect good things to come out of challenging experiences.
14. Implement the No Complaining Rule. If you are complaining, you’re not leading.
15. Read more books than you did in 2021. I happen to know of a few good ones. : )
16. Don’t seek happiness. Instead live with love, passion and purpose and happiness will find you.
17. Focus on “Get to” vs “Have to.” Each day focus on what you get to do, not what you have to do. Life is a gift not an obligation.
18. The next time you “fail” remember that it’s not meant to define you. It’s meant to refine you.
19. Smile and laugh more. They are natural anti-depressants.
20. Boost your immune system and health. Eat wild salmon, turmeric, blueberries. Take vitamin C, D and zinc.
Enjoy the ride. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy it.
Wanted to change things up and get a little more personal. We’ve been challenged physically, mentally, emotionally, existentially and fiscally, To put it lightly, 2020 has not left one corner of our lives unscathed, and every step of the way, we’ve felt the pressure. Pressure to get up in the morning with a smile on our face. Pressure to resume normal duties at our jobs and with our families. Pressure to remain optimistic even though our normal hobbies and favorite people are no longer available to us. How are we supposed to cope with all of this stress, knowing that most of our typical go-tos are off limits? My personal therapist Christine and I have been really practicing consistent self-love which I believe is the antidote for so many stressful seasons of our lives. While it might feel tough to nourish a healthy relationship with “ourselves” right now, it may just be the one constant in your life that will help you rise up during pressing times. So how does one even begin to practice self-love? First, let’s go over what self-love is and what it looks like, and then we’ll dive into how you can incorporate the actual practice of self-love into your daily routine.
The Four Stages of Self-Love
1. Self-Awareness – It’s as simple as this: Before we can love ourselves, we must know ourselves. While this may seem like an obvious point, it’s actually incredibly easy to lose sight of who we are amongst the chaos of everyday responsibilities, tasks and goals. We can get caught up in our “roles” in life and not pay attention to our core. So before you dive into your personal journey of self-love, take some time to make sure you are falling in love with the right person. Reflect on your authentic self—what drives you? Motivates you? Excites you? Disappoints you? Saddens you? Angers you? Inspires you? Relaxes you? But above all: Take all the time you need to seriously consider your deep-seated values and how they affect your decision-making and your triggers. Your values are the blueprint for who you are as an individual. They are the most telling things about you—and without knowing them intimately, loving yourself is going to feel forced and forged. If you’re looking for ways to dive into who you really are, I recommend looking into assessments. The Myers Briggs Type Indicator is a great start, along with the Enneagram, DISC and Strengths Finder. The longer you stay in this phase, the better you’ll get to know yourself. Don’t rush.
2. Self-Acceptance – Warning: When you dive deep into the inner crevices of exactly who you are, you might not love everything you see. That’s OK. We all have our random quirks and values that don’t look stunningly gorgeous on paper. The point isn’t to look at an airbrushed version of ourselves—but to fully embrace and accept all of who we are, even the less desired qualities. So give yourself some grace. Accept the fact that you might be a little overly obsessed with status, or that you like to avoid pain at all costs. Embrace your values—even if they make you flinch sometimes. The goal should not be to change who you are at your core. Self-improvement is meant to capitalize on who you already are. Self-acceptance is meant to embrace those fundamental pieces that make you who you are. You are a human, and none of us are perfect. A professor of mine once said, “If everyone in a room were to throw their problems in a pile, everyone would reflect on the other problems available, and still want to dig their own back out.” So own your problems. Own your mistakes. Own your values. Once you can fully accept—and embrace—your authentic self, the easier your self-love journey will be.
3. Self-Confidence – The best way to describe self-confidence is to think of it as self-congruence. When you show up as your authentic self in the world, and act on your self-acceptance, that’s self-confidence. This doesn’t mean you have to put yourself on display every chance you get, but it does mean that you allow your values and your authentic self to guide your actions and behaviors out in the world. When you honor who you really are—and let other people see it—you’re being congruent with your actions. You’re not hiding yourself for the sake of others, and you’re not shaming yourself for being who you really are. Instead, you’re releasing the pressure to play a certain role or stereotype, and just being yourself. While it sounds easy, we all know that’s not always the case. It takes courage and bravery to decide to respect your own values and opinions more than others. But that’s what you have to do—every single day. Decide to show up for yourself and not be dictated by how others view you. And when you find yourself struggling to find the willpower to keep going, simply whisper to yourself, “Other people’s opinions of me are NOT my business.” Not everyone will love you – but that doesn’t matter when YOU love you. Which brings us to our next step…
4. Self-Love – You have arrived at the fourth and final step of the self-love journey. From here on out, you will make a commitment to yourself and to your growth. You will carve out time in your daily routine to invest in yourself, compliment yourself, reassure yourself and cheer yourself on. Because if you don’t, we cannot assume that others will. This is your responsibility, and you owe it to yourself. So what does acting on self-love actually look like? Below is the breakdown of actual steps you can take to practice self-love.
The Three Pillars of Self-Love
1. Gratitude – Every single day, write down five things you are grateful for, and reflect on why you feel thankful for these aspects of your life. They can be small, monumental, boring, exciting, static or ever changing. Follow your moods and your phases in life. But no matter what, always take the time to find gratitude in your everyday life. Examples can range from having nice weather, to waking up rested, to reflecting on your support system, to thanking yourself for working hard. Try to connect your gratitude to your values. What are you proud of yourself for? What compels you to get out of bed every morning and keep going? Be intentional about your gratitude list as often as possible. Secondly, feel free to spread gratitude to others. While it’s crucial to focus on being thankful for your own skills and determination, it’s also important to show gratitude to your support system. Write a gratitude letter to someone in your life once per week. The people you surround yourself with have a profound impact on your own self-worth—and telling them so will only help strengthen your relationships with them, and with yourself.
2. Affirmations and Positive Self-Talk – “The words we speak become the house we live in.” Think about that. If you are living in a space of negativity, badgering, shaming, judging and criticizing, how in the world are you supposed safe? Secure? Happy? It’s virtually impossible. Be careful how you speak to yourself. Show yourself love and gratitude by choosing kind and encouraging words. Have your own back—especially when it comes to standing up to your inner critic. In fact, if you have a rather vocal inner critic, be sure to externalize it by naming them. This creates a separation between yourself and your negative voice, which can help you realize that you are not indelibly tied to them. You are able to produce kind, reaffirming words, even if you are used to your inner critic being the lone voice. To get in the habit, practice saying at minimum one to three affirmations per day. They can be as simple as “I am worthy,” or as detailed as “I do not wait for others to give me permission to do what I love.” Ideally, these affirmations will set the tone for the rest of your day, and the more you repeat them, the more you’ll believe them. Between the constant source of positivity from yourself, and the undermining of your inner critic, you’ll be on your way to creating a safe environment for yourself to thrive.
3. Self-Care – Self-care can be defined as any act that nourishes the self. Some self-care acts might re-energize, while others might be for relaxation purposes. Typically, it’s used to rest, reset or reflect. Self-care will also look different for everyone. But the most important takeaway is that In order to have self-love, you have to show yourself you love yourself daily with acts of service. Taking care of yourself can be divided into three different categories: mind, body and soul. On an amazing self-care day, you’ll check off an item under all three categories. On more challenging days, you might only check off one. Here are some examples of self-care under each category:
Mind: journaling, reading for pleasure, watching a relaxing show, puzzling, drawing, crafting, knitting.
Body: exercising, having a spa day, doctor’s visits, visiting a salon, stretching, taking a bath, doing a skincare routine, facial masks.
Soul: prayer, meditation, connecting with a loved one, participating in a community event, reading a self-help or spiritually inclined book.
Remember: Everyone will have different self-care items that speak to them. For example, under “body,” some might prefer exercise over a manicure—and that doesn’t mean their self-care is better or worse than anyone else’s! As long as you are practicing self-care that fills your cup, you are doing it right. If you’re having trouble staying consistent or coming up with ideas for your own self-care, consider investing in a self-care calendar or self-care bingo to assist with the planning. Both could take the guesswork out of your planned activities and help you stay on track with your progress. I hope these tips help you curate a healthy and happy relationship with yourself. Your stability, security and sanity will thank you immensely if you can dedicate time to yourself every single day.
The “power of positive thinking” is a popular concept, and sometimes it can feel a little cliché. But the physical and mental benefits of positive thinking both personally and in your real estate business have been demonstrated by multiple scientific studies. Positive thinking can give you more confidence, improve your mood, and even reduce the likelihood of developing conditions such as hypertension, depression and other stress-related disorders. All this sounds great, but what does the “power of positive thinking” really mean? You can define positive thinking as positive imagery, positive self-talk or general optimism, but these are all still general, ambiguous concepts. If you want to be effective in thinking and being more positive, you’ll need concrete examples to help you through the process.
Clever Tricks to Trigger Positive Emotions
1. Start the day with positive affirmations. How you start the morning sets the tone for the rest of the day. Have you ever woken up late, panicked, and then felt like nothing good happened the rest of the day? This is likely because you started out the day with a negative emotion and a pessimistic view that carried into every other event you experienced. Instead of letting this dominate you, start your day with positive affirmations. Talk to yourself in the mirror, even if you feel silly, with statements like, “Today will be a good day” or “I’m going to be awesome today.” You’ll be amazed how much your day improves. Tell yourself these positive things every day.
2. Focus on the good things, however small. Almost invariably, you’re going to encounter obstacles throughout the day—there’s no such thing as a perfect day. When you encounter such a challenge, focus on the benefits, no matter how slight or unimportant they seem. For example, if you get stuck in traffic, think about how you now have time to listen to the rest of your favorite podcast. If the store is out of the food you want to prepare, think about the thrill of trying something new. Find your silver lining.
3. Find humor in bad situations. Allow yourself to experience humor in even the darkest or most trying situations. Remind yourself this situation will probably make for a good story later and try to crack a joke about it. Say you’re laid off; imagine the most absurd way you could spend your last day, or the most ridiculous job you could pursue next—like kangaroo handler or bubblegum sculptor.
4. Turn failures into lessons. You aren’t perfect. You’re going to make mistakes and experience failure in multiple contexts, at multiple jobs and with multiple people. Instead of focusing on how you failed, think about what you’re going to do next time—turn your failure into a lesson. Conceptualize this in concrete rules. For example, you could come up with three new rules for managing projects as a result. You’re going to fail. Learn to use it to your advantage.
5. Transform negative self-talk into positive self-talk. Negative self-talk can creep up easily and is often hard to notice. You might think I’m so bad at this or I shouldn’t have tried that. But these thoughts turn into internalized feelings and might cement your conceptions of yourself. When you catch yourself doing this, stop and replace those negative messages with positive ones. For example, “I’m so bad at this becomes”, “Once I get more practice, I’ll be way better at this”. “I shouldn’t have tried” becomes “That didn’t work out as planned—maybe next time”. Silence the negative voice in your head.
6. Focus on the present. I’m talking about the present—not today, not this hour, only this exact moment. You might be getting chewed out by your boss, but what in this exact moment is happening that’s so bad? Forget the comment he made five minutes ago. Forget what he might say five minutes from now. Focus on this one, individual moment. In most situations, you’ll find it’s not as bad as you imagine it to be. Most sources of negativity stem from a memory of a recent event or the exaggerated imagination of a potential future event. Stay in the present moment. Be right where you are. Live in the moment.
7. Find positive friends, mentors and co-workers. When you surround yourself with positive people, you’ll hear positive outlooks, positive stories and positive affirmations. Their positive words will sink in and affect your own line of thinking, which then affects your words and similarly contributes to the group. Finding positive people to fill up your life can be difficult, but you need to eliminate the negativity in your life before it consumes you. Do what you can to improve the positivity of others, and let their positivity affect you the same way. Surround yourself with 5 amazing people. Almost anybody in any situation can apply these lessons to their own lives and increase their positive attitude.
As you might imagine, positive thinking offers compounding returns, so the more often you practice it, the greater benefits you’ll realize.
Wanted to change things up and get a little more personal. We’ve been challenged physically, mentally, emotionally, existentially and fiscally, To put it lightly, 2020 has not left one corner of our lives unscathed, and every step of the way, we’ve felt the pressure. Pressure to get up in the morning with a smile on our face. Pressure to resume normal duties at our jobs and with our families. Pressure to remain optimistic even though our normal hobbies and favorite people are no longer available to us. How are we supposed to cope with all of this stress, knowing that most of our typical go-tos are off limits? My personal therapist Christine and I have been really 
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