Building Connections and Overcoming the Loneliness Barrier in Real Estate

Wade Webb on August 16, 2023

 

“We are in an epidemic of loneliness.”
– Dr. Vivek Murtly, U.S. Surgeon General, May 2023

(Thank-you Suze Cumming for this week’s guest post)

Real Estate feels more challenging than it has in the 38 years since I began my career in sales. Over the past few weeks, I have reached out to many brokers, managers and team leaders to inquire about what they are experiencing. The ones I spoke to all related to me that many of their agents were struggling with mental health challenges.

With this information in hand, I began researching what other industries and research organizations are learning about mental health post-pandemic, and it does indeed seem like we have an epidemic of loneliness.

In this article, we will look at the symptoms and causes first, but please read through to the solutions. Whether you want to help yourself or help people around you, this could have a valuable impact.

The reported effects of loneliness are significant: low motivation, low drive, depression, impaired immune system, cognitive decline and premature death. In fact, America’s Surgeon General states that the effect of loneliness on our health is comparable to smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

So, what’s going on?

Loneliness isn’t about a people deficit; it’s about a connection deficit. While people were already lonely before the pandemic, the social isolation during the lockdown and many of our new ways of operating have greatly exasperated the situation.

Working from home, the loss of community spaces, our discomfort with social situations, social media addiction, and increased travel costs are all limiting our human interaction and social connection.

“Many of my agents haven’t been able to return home to see their close family in over three years,” says Stefanie Hostetter, CEO at Re/Max Sea to Sky in Whistler, B.C. Many of her agents come from far away, as Whistler is a destination market. Hostetter hails from New York, and she hasn’t been back to visit yet. Travel restrictions during the pandemic and our changed habits around travel have greatly reduced the amount of time that we spend visiting family and close friends.

She notes, “Some people haven’t been able to celebrate new babies or mourn the death of loved ones.” Travelling both abroad and within Canada can be stressful and expensive as the travel industry struggles to find balance.

“I run coaching and training sessions live in person at my brokerage, and only a tiny fraction of my agents show up,” says Wade Webb, broker/owner of Royal Lepage Kelowna Lake Country. Webb is a very sought-after, high-level coach and best-selling author, so this lack of engagement speaks volumes about his agents’ state of mind.

Structural barriers, financial insecurity, previous health or mental health challenges and life events can cause the loss of social connection. Those of us contending with loneliness have unique experiences and can’t all be solved the same way, but I have laid out some of the things that may help you reconnect with people and build community (which are both key skills for real estate success):

  • Answer your phone instead of letting it go to voicemail. You never know when something delightful might happen.
  • Join a local community of people. Think sports, workouts, hobbies, spiritual, charity, volunteer, chamber of commerce, meet-ups, etc. There are unlimited possibilities.
  • Call a friend or acquaintance instead of messaging them. They may also need the connection.
  • Say yes to social opportunities even if you initially feel hesitant.
  • Limit your social media time. Research confirms that most social media increases our social anxiety.
  • Go to the office. Create a comfortable shared space at the office where colleagues can visit, collaborate and co-work. I borrowed this idea from the tech industry as they work creatively to get employees to want to come back to the office and collaborate with each other.
  • Create a mastermind or support group with colleagues in your area and meet in person. Be sure to pick like-minded, positive-thinking people.
  • Organize an office event. Consider a fundraiser, outdoor adventure, swimming party or summer BBQ.
  • Improve your teleconferencing (zoom) skills. Be more natural, create casual time before or after a meeting, and invite others to connect after the meeting one on one.

What are other some other opportunities to connect and build community with people? Please share your ideas in the comments. 

If you or someone you know is unable to work through the loneliness or is suffering from significant social anxiety, professional support may be beneficial. Seeking this support is extremely common in our modern society and is a sign of strength and courage.  

Strength and courage,

Suze Cumming / Wade

The Top Pitfalls That Are Holding Agents Back

Wade Webb on March 20, 2019

real estate pitfallsYou’re an entrepreneur… a creator… a business owner. Which has a huge upside. It can be so incredibly rewarding. But also throws challenges your way… Pitfalls you must avoid. In starting my own real estate business, real estate brokerage, real estate coaching company and working with so many other different companies throughout my life, I’ve identified the biggest challenges you need to overcome as a business owner. I’m sharing them with you today with the aim of preparing you for what to expect instead of being blindsided when you confront these challenges. Are you ready? Let’s go!

Top Pitfalls Holding Real Estate Agents Back

Belief – If there’s a fraction of doubt in your mind that your business is going to be successful, you’re already in trouble. I’m not saying you shouldn’t be practical. But before starting a business, you need 100% belief it’s going to work. Without that critical element, your doubt will lead to paralysis, and paralysis leads to inaction. Eliminate any doubts you have before taking the next step toward building your business.

Getting the Right People on Board and in Alignment – When hiring, you basically have two options… You can go out and recruit people you don’t know and convince them to join your team. Or you can team up with people you know and trust and slot them strategically into various roles. I’m a big believer when starting a business, working with people you trust and who are in alignment with your vision is absolutely crucial. If those people need training to master their roles, get it for them. Get them the exposure they need and give them that opportunity. But you gotta trust ‘em and make sure they’re in complete alignment with your vision.

Get Your Story Straight – If you’re opening a business, you need to know specific, measurable answers to these questions:

  • What do we do?
  • How are we different?
  • Who are we for?
  • Who are we not for?
  • What unique benefits do we provide?

Until those five questions have well-thought out answers, you’re not ready to start a business. Get your story straight and know how to communicate it clearly.

Capital to Grow – Without sufficient cash to grow your business you’re vulnerable to being taken out by a competitor. Here’s the thing: Cash is cheap. Selling stock is expensive in the long run. My advice is to pursue a business loan or home equity line of credit… And maintain complete ownership of your business.

A Scalable Sales Process – Without growth, business isn’t fun. That’s why you need to be constantly thinking about how to attract more customers. Your whole business is about solving problems for other people. How you communicate is what leads to growth. This idea of how to attract more customers needs to be at the forefront of your thinking. You need to schedule time to work on answering this question. Make it a priority and build it into your schedule. This certainly requires more work on your end, but if you fail to devote time specifically to growth initiatives, your business will quickly stop growing and start feeling like a grind.

Understand the Time Commitment Required – Starting a business means you have a new priority… When starting out, it’s likely going to require five years of working six to seven days a week to make it work. Not only do you have to work IN the business doing the work, but you have to work ON the business after hours. This is all a major commitment! Which means… …You need to be ready for it. …AND others in your life need to be ready for it, on the same page and fully supportive. Proceeding without this step is putting your most meaningful relationships in danger. Don’t do that! Have the conversations necessary to make it crystal clear most of your time (and attention) will be devoted to the business.

Discipline – In theory, owning a business is so fun and freeing! You’re in charge, you get to do what you want, blah blah blah… The reality is a much different picture. All those “napkin plans” you drew up don’t cut it in the real world. You need an actual plan. With lots of specific details! And then you need one more thing: The discipline to actually follow it. Those who have the discipline to continually execute their plans are those who will succeed. Those who lack discipline will get stuck, get distracted, get off course… and will fail.

Make Decisions Based on Data – Don’t let intuition and emotion guide your decision-making process. Instead, ask this question over and over and over: “What do the numbers show us?” Success in business is all about making quantitative decisions rather than qualitative decisions. Rely on your business intelligence, not your emotions.

Create a Culture of Testing – I want you to imagine yourself three years down the road of your start-up. Things have gone well, but a shift is taking place in the marketplace. A disruption. Will you dig in your heels and hold your course? Or will you accept these signals, adapting and evolving with the market? I hope you chose the latter. Those stuck to the former won’t last long in today’s ever-evolving world. Which also speaks to the importance of testing. I encourage you to create a culture of testing in your business and let the results guide your future actions. Create A/B tests for as much of your business as possible: Your marketing, servicing, past client follow-up… Whatever you can test, do it! The more you examine – and re-examine – what’s working and what’s not, the more potential for growth and prosperity you have.

Take the time to study this list and really understand where you and your business and life are being impacted by these common pitfalls. I challenge you to take action and take this content and make 2019 your best year ever!

Strength and courage,
Wade