What about people who never seem to be afraid? Or the small percentage of the population that literally cannot feel fear? Why are there kids completely unafraid of taking risks and then others who seem afraid of everything? Fear’s purpose is to keep us from harm, but what if it holds us back from what we really want?
THE BIOLOGY OF FEAR
First, some facts: There is no single fear switch for humans; responding to threats involves multiple areas of the brain. We’re not 100% how, but scientists have found the amygdala—almond-shaped bundles of neurons buried deep in the brain, just above the brain stem—central to the process.
“When you sense something potentially dangerous, the amygdala sends excitatory signals to other parts of the brain, effectively saying, ‘Hey everyone, pay attention!” says Bambi DeLaRosa, a researcher on threat processing.
The areas of the brain associated with language and memory also become active in the face of fear. If the amygdala sounds the alarm, the other areas help evaluate the threat level and how you respond. But people with the extremely rare Urbach-Wiethe disease have calcium deposits in their brains, making it impossible for them to process fear.
Studies have found their amygdala completely calcified, so there’s nothing to signal for fear signs like sweating palms or a racing heart to begin. Researchers have identified only 400 people in the world with this condition. What’s particularly striking about Urbach-Wiethe is that fear has long been critical for human survival, so living without fear can be quite dangerous.
Studying subjects with this condition has also given us insights to how we deal with emotions and drives. Since people can survive without fear, perhaps it isn’t as necessary as we’ve assumed. Other paths, like logic, can take us to the correct behaviors that help us survive.
So, what triggers fear in the first place? One possibility is simply not understanding how something works. But we can’t stop fear just through knowledge alone. A 2009 study compared human reaction to sweat taken from people when they were terrified to sweat from regular exercise. Just smelling the fear sweat caused the fear centers of the brain to kick in.
Other animals also share fear reactions via alarm pheromones, but this work is the first to show a similar reaction in humans. These findings suggest that just being around people who are afraid can make you fearful. And while that might not be a big deal when you’re visiting a haunted house or watching a scary movie, it can have huge impacts on your daily life or real estate business.
Our reactions to others’ fear might be part of what holds particularly adults back from taking risks or trying new things, whether skydiving or applying for a new job.
CULTURAL FEARS AND MODERN LIFE
Psychological studies also bear out this idea of collective fear having a wider cultural impact. In the 1970s Roger Hart studied the children in a small Vermont town to see what they did when they weren’t under direct adult supervision, learning about their secret places for play and favorite spots where they roamed.
He returned in 2004 and found a completely different set of norms. These parents, some of whom were subjects in the 1970s research, are much more concerned with the minute-by-minute facts of their children’s lives. Unsupervised play is almost unheard of, and children stay much closer to home.
Yet crime rates are the same as they were 40 years ago. “There’s a fear” among the parents, Hart told The Atlantic, “an exaggeration of the dangers, a loss of trust that isn’t totally clearly explainable.”
But if you’re surrounded by others who aren’t afraid to let their kids roam around, chances are you won’t be either. There is power in who we surround ourselves with as well as how our culture shifts its norms.
As Tony Robbins says, “Who you spend time with is who you become.” This is just one example of how fear often comes from the stories we tell ourselves; we bet you can think of more.
Frequently parents project their own fears onto children or get them to repeat their own fear-driven patterns. Other stories we tell ourselves can lead us to fear everything from rejection to success. What then can we do to prevent fear from holding us or our children back?
WAYS TO LEVERAGE FEAR
You need to use fear, otherwise it uses you.
Remember, bravery isn’t being fearless and unafraid; it’s being fearful and doing something anyway. Ways to use fear include figuring out what your fear tells you about your current situation and what it can teach you.
One way people handle their fear is to push themselves to face extremes, whether climbing mountains or walking over coals. Just take the fire walk at Tony Robbins UPW event I attended a few years ago.
Instead of letting fear win, people lean into their fear and find they can achieve anything they put their minds to.
As a 52-year-old firewalker, you have to mentally prepare for the experience, “otherwise you surrender to the fear and that will conquer other parts of your life.” Fire walking made him feel like “Superman”; “It had nothing to do with my feet but was about following through on a promise.”
No matter your age, you’ll never overcome a fear holding you back by walking away from it. Take courage and focus on what the fear will bring your way and you’ll be truly unstoppable.
A gratitude list probably feels like the last thing you want to do in 2023. While the feeling is understandable, even with the current challenges in the world, there are still things to be thankful for during this time. I know all of these things may not apply to you. Still, I hope this list will inspire you to remember the things to be thankful for in 2023. Here are 101 things to be grateful for in 2023!!
1. Sight. I know there are a lot of people in this world who are blind. Even if you are, there are still other things to be grateful for. Those of you who aren’t blind, even if you have to wear glasses or contacts, you can be grateful that you can see. Even if everything you see in the world isn’t as pleasant sometimes, still be grateful for the pleasant things you can see, like the nice green colors of nature outside.
2. Hearing. Similarly, to sight, many people in this world are deaf. They’ll never be able to enjoy the sounds of music or hear the voice of someone they care about. Be grateful that you can listen to relaxing music when you feel stressed.
3. Smell. As small as this may seem, I’ve heard of people who’ve lost their sense of smell and it completely changed their life. Have gratitude for still having your sense of smell.
4. Taste. When one loses their sense of taste, they lose their ability to enjoy all the flavors of food. We can be grateful for still being able to enjoy the taste of fruits, vegetables, and all of the foods we enjoy in the world.
5. Walking. Being able to get around is more of a blessing than we realize sometimes. There are people who have to use canes, crutches, and wheelchairs to move around. Be grateful for being able to walk on your own two feet with relatively little pain.
6. Lungs. If we don’t have any lung issues or have to use any machines to breathe in oxygen, that’s something to be grateful for.
7. Hand movement. I have to type a lot to make these articles on here. I’m grateful that I have hand movement that’s free of any arthritis. Whatever you use your hands for, be grateful you can still use them.
8. Teeth. Be grateful if you’ve not lost any of your teeth, and they’re not in any pain.
9. Neck movement. As someone who deals with neck pain from time to time, even I’m grateful that I can still move my neck from one side to the other. If you can as well, you can write that on your list.
10. Memory. As we get older, our memories may not be as good as they are now. Be grateful you can still remember the things that you want in your day.
11. Heart. There are people currently waiting for heart transplants in the hospital right now. We can be grateful that we have a working heart that still beats normally.
12.Bladder. Leaky bladders are an inconvenience that we can be grateful we don’t have to deal with.
13. Stomach. As someone who’s had stomach challenges, it’s something to be grateful for when your stomach isn’t in pain. Burning inside of it is definitely no fun. I’m grateful for when my stomach doesn’t experience that, and that I’ve been able to improve it little by little.
14. Bones. I once saw a commercial with a little kid who was born with brittle bone disease. He’d broken his bones hundreds of times. There was also an inspirational speaker who had this disability but managed to live an extraordinary life. It goes to show that not only we can be grateful for having healthy and strong bones, but we can be inspired to do more with the abilities that we’re lucky to have.
15. Overall health. My health hasn’t been the best in the most recent years of my lie, and maybe yours hasn’t either. Nonetheless, no matter our health challenges, we’re still alive. We can be grateful for our overall health still keeps us here. I’m grateful that my health is good for the most part.
16. Health insurance. I know not everyone reading this has health insurance. Those of you that do, be grateful your insurance helps to reduce your medical bills.
17. Meditation. There are many simple activities in life that can help improve our overall health. I’m grateful for meditation being one of those things that’s easy to do and helps us feel better.
18. Medicine. There have been many advancements in technology that have helped to heal many sicknesses that couldn’t be healed decades ago. Medicine is one of the top health things we can be grateful for in life, especially if you can afford it.
19. Doctors. In these times we’re living in, there are few people more deserving to be on this list than doctors. We can be grateful for all of them that dedicate their lives to making people feel well.
20. Exercise. It may not be the most fun thing to do for some of you, but be grateful if you’re physically able to exercise, and help keep yourself healthy.
21. Therapy. Mental health is just as important as physical health. We can be thankful that there are mental health professionals available to help us cope with the stress of the times.
22. Sickness. Yes, we can even be grateful for sickness. Going through it in a way makes us more appreciative when our health is good.
23. Fruits and vegetables. Some people are not in position to afford fruits, vegetables and other meals that keep us well. Be grateful you can enjoy the proper number of fruits and vegetables you need in your life.
24. Having money. While we may not have much in our wallet or our bank account, we can always be grateful we have some money to buy some things. There are a lot of people that don’t have any at all.
24. Earning money.You’ve probably seen how many people have had their jobs lost recently. If you’re still able to earn money for yourself, that’s a lot to be grateful for.
26. Little (or no) debt. It’d of course be nice not to have debt at all, but some people have 100’s of 1000’s of dollars in debt. If you’re one of the few who has low debt, it’s worth being grateful for.
27. Paid bills. Sometimes people reach a point where they can’t pay their bills for the month and their whole world is about to fall apart. It’s a blessing you can count if you can still pay your bills.
28. Shelter. Homelessness is an unfortunate crisis around the world. Be grateful if you stay in a home protected from the elements and able to live comfortably.
29. Food.I don’t have to tell you about starving people in the world. It’s sad and hopefully we can continue to improve it. Being able to have food on your table everyday can be in the top 10 of your thankful lists.
30. Clothing. It’s not just clothes we can be thankful for but being able to have clean ones through the luxury of our washing machines and dryers.
31. Clean water. Hearing about the water crisis in Flint a few years ago reminded me how lucky we are the water we drink is clean.
32. Clean air. China is one of the most heavily polluted areas in the world, with many people that end up developing respiratory issues. If you live in an area where the air around you are clean, it’s another thing to be grateful for.
33. Trees. Studies have proven being in nature is good for our overall wellbeing. Be grateful if you have lots of trees around where you live.
34. Sunshine. In some places it rains most of the time. Even if you live in a place like that, you can be very grateful the few times the sun actually comes out.
35. Animals. I find the sounds of the birds chirping and the movements of the squirrels to be peaceful. If you have these or other kinds of animals in your area, perhaps you can watch them for a moment. You might be thankful to just be able to see and hear nature in action.
36. Personality. You are who you are. There may be things about yourself you don’t like, but there are also things that you can appreciate. Whether it’s your intelligence or your kindness, find those things about yourself that make you thankful.
37. Childhood. Obviously not all of us had the best childhoods. Myself personally, I’d say mine was pretty decent for the most part. However, your childhood was, find one or two memories in that make you feel nostalgic and grateful.
38. Knowledge. We have more access to knowledge than ever before. We can be thankful to be able to learn things that improve our understanding of the world and make us better people.
39. Family.The people that are there for you and help you out in life, whether they’re related to you or not, that’s the family you can be grateful for.
40. Someone special. When you think about it, it’s an incredibly rare experience to have someone special in your life. If you have that now, that can be near the top of your list.
41. Future. You might be thinking, If the future is looking bleak, why be grateful for it? The reason we can be grateful for it is because there’s always a possibility it can get better. I’ve lived long enough to see it in my own life and other people’s lives.
42. Experiencing romantic love. Unfortunately, there are people who live long lives without having that experience of romantic love. We may not know how we got lucky to enjoy it, but we can be grateful we have.
43. Soft bed.After a long day of making through another day, be glad that you have a nice soft bed to lie in and get some good sleep.
44. Waking up. As we all know, some people don’t wake up to see another day. Be grateful that you did and those that you care about did as well.
45. Making it to the end of the day. One of the things I always reminded myself during difficult days was to just make it to the end of the day. I was and still am grateful whenever I can do that.
46. Productivity. We all can be lazy sometimes. It’s great when we have days where we get most if not all the things we wanted to accomplish done If you accomplished that, you could add it to your thankful list for today.
47. Growth and perspective.I learned a lot in my 40s, and I’m still learning a lot in this next stage of my life. No matter what age, we can be thankful for growth and perspective that helps us to be calmer about the world we live in.
48. Travels.Traveling has many benefits to our health. We can not only be grateful for what it does for us now, but the memories it gives us to enjoy looking back on.
49. Creativity. Whether you can sing, write, draw, or dance, our creative passions give us an escape in life we can be thankful for.
50. Kindness. It may seem like there are meaner people in this world today, but there are still people that are kind. Be grateful for the kindness you receive, and the acts of kindness that still happen every single day.
51. Open-mindedness.It can be a frustrating thing in society when people aren’t more open to different ideas and viewpoints. Be grateful when you come across people who are open-minded and willing to change their mind.
52. Exciting sports game. It can be exciting sports game or some other kind of live event. While there haven’t been many of them lately, we can look back at some of the ones we enjoyed most and be grateful to enjoy them all over again.
53. Inspiring speeches. I sometimes like looking back at old speeches in history. They can be uplifting in times of uncertainty. We can be grateful for all the people who had the courage and confidence to give inspiring speeches.
54. The moment work is finished. It’s always a great feeling when you finish your work for the day. Be grateful when you reach that point in your day.
55. A slice of pizza.Pizza is one of my favorite foods. Whatever yours is, it’s something you can be thankful for when you’re enjoying it.
56. A bowl of ice cream.While I’m more of a cookies and brownies person, I enjoy a bowl of ice cream every now and then. We can appreciate when we get to enjoy our favorite dessert.
57. Making someone laugh. When you make someone laugh, you make them feel good for a moment in their day. When we make people feel good, we make ourselves feel good too. Be glad when you can do that.
58. The quiet of the nighttime. Some neighborhoods aren’t as quiet as others, but when your neighborhood is quiet, stop for a moment and appreciate the peace of the silence.
59. Feeling relaxed.There are many moments in life where we feel stressed or anxious. That moment when you feel relaxed is one you should cherish and have gratitude for.
60. Faith.It’s an inspiring force in our lives, for those of us who are faith minded. If you are, have gratitude for faith’s influence and inspiration in your life.
61. Spiritual community. Connecting with a group of people who believe the same things as you can be comforting and make you happy. Be thankful for when you enjoy these times with your faith group.
62. Spiritual growth.Living a life of faith is a journey. Be glad for how far you’ve grown in your spirituality.
63. Prayer. I personally find prayer to be comforting, even if I’m not always sure it makes a difference in my life. It’s a nice feeling to believe you can ask for good things and good things may eventually happen. You can have gratitude for being able to pray.
64. Religious text.The words of a religious text can also be comforting. We can be thankful whenever we read something that comforts and inspires us in these difficult times.
65. Technology.We’re more able to connect with people and get information than ever before. If you have worked internet and a device that easily accesses it for you, you can be very grateful for these things.
66. Heating and cooling. The weather can be very harsh in some places in the world. Some live without access to heating and cooling to make their home comfortable. If you have that access, add that to your list.
67. Your own room. Lots of people don’t have the luxury of sleeping and being in their own room. Be glad if you have an area where you can be alone and completely yourself.
68. Shower.That moment that warms water hits your skin, have gratitude for the comfort of a working shower.
69. Clean floors.You can clean your floors and be happy to be able to comfortably walk barefoot in your home.
70. Happy moments. Even if the happy moments are few and far between, have thankfulness for when they do come. Cherish the happy moments.
71. Sadness. A study on crying shows that it can make us feel good and reduce the pain we feel. Hopefully you won’t be sad for long, but you can appreciate your tears help improve your well-being.
72. Mistakes. No one wants to make mistakes in life, but they’re one of the few ways we learn lessons in life. Be glad that your mistakes help you to grow into the better person you’re becoming each day.
73. Accomplishments. There are things you’ve done in life that you’re proud of. You can have thankfulness for those moments you achieved something great.
74. Hobbies. Everybody has something in life they enjoy doing. You can do those activities you enjoy and be thankful you get to enjoy them.
75. Favorite movies and TV shows. I like looking back at old TV shows or movies I really liked all the time. I’m grateful for the good feelings they still give me when I watch them again.
76. Thunderstorm at night. Sometimes thunderstorms can help us peacefully fall asleep at night. If it helps you, add this to your list.
77. Peaceful neighborhood.Living in a peaceful neighborhood where you feel safe is definitely a top thing to express gratefulness for.
78. Social media. While social media rightly gets criticized for the harm it can cause to our mental health, we can be appreciative of the good it gives us in staying connected with people that aren’t near us.
79. Car. It’s an amazing feeling to be able to get on the road and go wherever you want. Be glad if you have the luxury of doing that.
80. Instrument. I haven’t played my guitar in a long time, but I’m thankful for still being able to do that. Perhaps you can grab that instrument you haven’t touched in a while and have gratitude for still being able to play it.
81. Books. While I’m not much of a book reader, I know many people are. Be happy for the books that you can enjoy reading right now.
82. Shoes. We can be thankful to have shoes that protect our feet from the dirt, grass, and rocks when we walk outside.
83. Pest-free home. Believe it or not, some people live in apartments with rats, roaches, and large spiders. If you don’t, that can be added to your list.
84. Things that are still the same. We so often get frustrated with everything that goes wrong, we forget how much continues to go right for us every single day. The bus still shows up to take us to work, our phones and computers still work, etc. Think of the good things that keep working the same every day and add them to your daily thankful list.
85. Things that change. Even when things change in life, we can be glad for that too. Changes can bring about new experiences and new opportunities that can potentially make our lives better.
86. Heartbreak.While heartbreak is never pleasant, we can appreciate it’s making us stronger than we were before.
87. Chairs. We really don’t think about how much of an inconvenience it can be to not have chairs in our home. We can be glad that we don’t have to sit on the floors.
88. Tables. Similarly, with chairs, not having tables can be an inconvenience as well. Be thankful you have something to set things on when you need to.
89. Plates. We can be thankful we don’t have to hold all of our food in our hands.
90. Utensils. We can be thankful we don’t have to eat all of our food with our hands.
91. Naps. Appreciate the naps that you get to enjoy in the middle of the day.
92. Sleeping in. There are many people that have to wake up early for their specific jobs. I’m grateful that I don’t for mine, and you can be as well if that’s true for you.
93. Deep conversation. One of the things I enjoy most about talking to someone is having a deep conversation. Those long thought-provoking dialogues are something we can continually be glad for in 2020.
94. You had breakfast, lunch and dinner. Unfortunately, some people can only have one meal a day. We can all be glad if we’re lucky enough to get to enjoy three or more a day.
95. Making progress. Even if the progress you’re making is small, you can appreciate it getting you closer to where you want to be in life.
96. Indoor plumbing. In some places, people have to go outside to use the bathroom. Being able to use the bathroom in the comfort of our home is another luxury we can be appreciative of.
97. The past.We can be glad for our past helping us to become the best of ourselves that we are today.
98. Weekends. After a long week, if you don’t have to work on the weekends, you can be thankful for the rest you get to have.
99. Mondays.A lot of people tend to not like the start of the work week. Nonetheless, Mondays are something we can be thankful for because it’s another chance to put in work for the future we want someday.
100. Alarms. I used to be able to wake up early easily. I’m grateful that we have alarms that help us wake up at the time we need to.
101.Freedom.Last but not least, we can be glad to have freedom. While some of us might have it more than others, just to be able to make some of your own choices is something that should give us gratitude.
What should I put on my list? You should put whatever makes you feel genuinely thankful. We all have unique things that we can express appreciation for that are specific to our life. Think about what those things are for you and put that on your list.
What are examples of gratitude? Examples of gratitude include being grateful for your family, your friends, your possessions, and the life that you have. You can look around you to point out the people and things you have in your life to be glad for.
What are 3 things you are thankful for? Now that you’ve seen this list of things you can express thankfulness for, think of three things you’re happy to have right now. As I write this, I’m happy to have my bed, my laptop, and being able to write these articles.
How do you express sincere gratitude? If you want to express sincere gratitude to someone, tell them exactly how you feel about what they’ve done for you in life. It’s as simple as that.
Why you should be glad for your life? Gratitude helps to make us feel good. Countless studies have shown that. Being grateful for your life can help keep your mood boosted. You don’t have to be happy about everything in your life, but you can always find one thing to be glad for.
One of the most common challenges for real estate agents I coach is their ability to be consistent. Most are masters of being consistently inconsistent and just desire to find that even flow. Consistency is a great characteristic to build and implement in your life.
The key to consistency is setting and achieving specific goals. Start by determining how you want to be more consistent in your life and aim for these small goals. Over time, as you become more consistent, keep yourself motivated and accountable. This may require some change in thinking so you stay optimistic and productive throughout the process.
Create specific and realistic goals. It’s hard to be consistent if you don’t have a strong idea of what you need to do. When starting your new path, create easy, simple goals with specific, measurable results.
1. Start by defining what consistency means to you. Do you need to be consistent about your exercise habits? Are you aiming for a higher quality of work? Do you want to be more available and reliable in your relationships? Once you’ve identified your end goal, produce smaller steps to reach it.
For example, if you want to become more physically fit, you might set the goal to exercise for 5 days out of the week or to sign up for a class.
Be specific. Instead of saying “I’m going to consistently appreciate my significant other,” you might say “I’m going to thank my significant other when they wash the dishes, make dinner, or help out around the house.”
2. Create a schedule for yourself. It can be easy to pile on tasks and promises, but a calendar, planner, or schedule will keep you on track. A schedule will help you plan your day, so you get everything done on time. It will also help you understand what commitments you do and do not have time for.
Use a paper planner or a desk calendar. Alternatively, download a scheduling app on your phone, like Google Calendar or Outlook. Block off realistic amounts of time for each task. If you’re uncertain how long a task will take, give yourself extra time to complete it.
For larger goals, like writing a book or losing weight, set small, daily tasks you can do to work towards this goal. For example, you might set a daily word count to achieve or plan specific meals to eat each day. Don’t forget to plan in breaks as well! Don’t schedule anything else for that day or time.
3. Place reminders around your home, workspace, and belongings. Sometimes, it is easy to forget our new goals, habits, commitments, or promises, especially when we make them to ourselves. To remind yourself throughout the day, put messages to yourself in visible areas.
Write down your goals on post-it notes and place them on your mirror, computer, refrigerator, car dashboard, and planner. Slip a piece of paper with your goals into your wallet, desk drawer, or purse. If you are trying implement a daily practice, put a reminder on your phone. Set an alarm or use a reminder app to alert you when you need to do it.
4. Make promises only if you can keep them. Consistency often involves making commitments and keeping them. It is easy to get overwhelmed, however, if you make too many promises. If you think a request may be difficult to do, say no.
For example, if you tell your significant other, you’re going to handle half of the chores, make sure you have time after work to actually do them. In some cases, you may be able to negotiate a promise you will be able to keep. For example, if someone asks you to help them move, you can say, “Well, I can’t make it before 3 PM, but I could swing by after. Does that work?”
This includes making promises to yourself. If you know it is unrealistic for you to write 10 pages a day for your new novel, promise yourself you’ll just write at least a little bit each day.
5. Reward yourself when you get something done. If you do complete your goals, give yourself a reward. Even small goals deserve small rewards to help keep you motivated throughout the process. For example, if you’ve managed to complete your work by 5 pm every day for a week, take an evening off.
See a movie or treat yourself to a special dinner. If you’re training for a marathon and you’ve managed to hit your daily exercise goals, sign up for a 5k to give you a sense of your success. If you’ve managed to improve your relationships by being more consistent, your friendships may be the reward. If you’re proud of yourself, take your friends out or host a dinner.
So, there you have it. Some powerful ways to ensure a consistent personal and professional life. I challenge you to take these ideas and implement and execute on them and let me know how your next month or two plays out for you. To your success.
Getting knocked down and discouraged is part of the game. It’s impossible to be perfect 100% of the time. The key is knowing how to pick yourself up and get back on the horse, so you can still achieve your goals. That’s why this blog isn’t just about sticking to your commitments but recommitting to them if you ever fall off track. I always ask myself these 3 important questions. What did I learn? What Do I Do Different? What is Next?
How to Get Back on Track, Step 1: Don’t Be too Hard on Yourself.
It’s what I was just talking about but it’s worth putting it as the most important point. Too many people quit after a setback because they’re too discouraged to try again. Here’s the thing… You can only keep succeeding without a failure for too long, and if you do then you’re probably playing it too safe in what you shoot for. Failure is part of living an ambitious, successful life, and I’ve failed more times than you can imagine. The difference is, I always used those failures as an opportunity to learn. You need to accept the slip without letting it harm your self-esteem (this is important for Step 2)and then it’s time to adjust your plan…
How to Get Back on Track, Step 2: Reassess Your Plan.
Let’s say you committed to doing my 5/5/4 Challenge – or if you’ve attended one of my new Roadmap events, the 10/10/8/4 Challenge – where every day you talk to five people from your database, five new people, and following up with four leads you’ve already spoken to. You’ve made this the center of your prospecting strategy for the year and it was going well for the first few weeks until just a few days ago you dropped down to 5/3/2. Then the next day it was 4/2/1. And it kept on like that until now you only make calls if you’re feeling particularly inspired. You could try to pull up your britches and charge back into it… Or you could take a breath and ask what happened to throw you off course. And once you were thrown off, what kept you from correcting course the next day? Sure, sometimes appointments take up your time and life situations happen, but when getting knocked off track one day turns into a new habit, there’s probably a fault in the foundation of the plan. Now’s the time to diagnose the problem and correct it. Maybe it’s just too much for you to maintain with your current schedule. That’s okay. Try cutting it down to 4/4/3and then move it back up once you gain a little more momentum. But maybe it’s just a motivation and mindset problem… In that case, how’s your diet and exercise schedule? What kind of books are you reading right now? Sometimes fixing one habit comes down to getting another in shape first.
How to Get Back on Track, Step 3: Make a Written Recommitment.
There’s something exceptionally powerful about recommitment, maybe even more powerful than committing for the first time because each time you come back to it, you show just how truly serious you are. This goes for everything that truly matters to you, even if you haven’t slipped up (trust me, I’ve married my wife three times now). Whether you’re coming back to a habit or a goal or you’re just ready to pour extra fire into one you’ve already been working with, you need to get it down on paper. This is a contract from you to yourself, but it’s also more than that. By recommitting on paper, you’re sending a signal to the universe that you really want this. Now, I don’t know where you stand on any of that New Age stuff, but I can tell you that there is an undeniable power in putting your burning desires to paper. It just simply works.
How to Get Back on Track, Step 4: Never Let Yourself Forget Your “Why.”
28,835. Does that look like a big number to you? Depends on what it is, right? What if I told you that the average person lives to be about 79 years old, and that means from birth to death, you only have around 28,835 days to live? Now, is that more or less than you were expecting? If you’re like me, it’s a freakin’ wakeup call every time you hear it. And if you want to get even more intense with this, here’s a link to the Google Death Clock. Go to it, fill out the information, and see how many days you have left, then try to tell me you can wait to get started tomorrow. The point is that there’s no time to waste here. This is your life. And if you’re not doing it for yourself, then who are you doing it for? Do you want to send you kids to college? Which college? How much does it cost? Figure it out and put that number up above your desk. Have a picture of your wife, your kids, your parents next to your phone to remind you why you’re making those calls.
How to Get Back on Track, Step 5: Track and Measure.
“How noble and good everyone could be if at the end of the day they were to review their own behavior and weigh up the rights and wrongs. They would automatically try to do better at the start of each new day, and after a while, would certainly accomplish a great deal.” That’s a quote from The Diary of Anne Frank, which if you haven’t read is full of powerful wisdom. Anne Frank was only 13 when she wrote that, but it’s clear that by keeping a diary, she was able to clarify and refine her thoughts into not just wisdom but also profound discipline. The point is you should be keeping a journal. But beyond that, you should also be treating yourself like your own most important employee. Be sure to track everything in some sort of “up and visual” scoreboard that reminds you what you’re working toward and hammers home the reality of where you stand currently.
How to Get Back on Track, Step 6: Get Some Accountability.
The most proven effective way of getting back and staying on track is to do it together with someone. Can you think of an organization that deals with overcoming powerful negative habits and preaches the message that it’s only possible when done in a group? Get an accountability partner, form a Mastermind group, or, if you’re ready for it, maybe it’s time to sign up for coaching. Our coaching program gives you not only a professional coach to help guide you on the right path but also access to the world’s biggest and most trusted community of top performing real estate agents who are holding each other accountable to their own success every single day. Quitter’s Day can come at any day when life throws you a punch in the face. The real question is, are you just going to take it or are you going to get back up and punch back? If you ever find that you’re falling short of the mark, follow these steps and I believe you’ll find yourself back in a better place than where you started from. Let me know in the comments which step is most useful to keep you on track. Thanks for reading!
Decision fatigue is real. Are too many decisions slowing down your progress? Luckily, there’s a better way to get things done – while still being your own boss.
You might think that as someone running a business and your own life, the more decisions you make, the more successful you stand to be. The problem is, the average person already makes around 35,000 decisions every single day, from what they’ll wear and what they’ll listen to in the car, all the way to what they’ll have for dinner. This is a recipe for decision fatigue.
There’s a reason that Steve Jobs wore the same thing every day and Michael Crichton (the writer of Jurassic Park) ate the same lunch every day until he’d completed a book.
Jeff Bezossays that to do his job successfully, he needs to make only three or four key decisions a day.
For Warren Buffett, it’s only three or four decisions a year. What I’m getting at here is that being your own best boss isn’t about making more decisions – it’s about making fewer but more important ones so that you don’t burn out and can make the highest quality choices possible.
In this blog, I’ll show you a few ways you can eliminate decision fatigue by automating your day. You might be surprised by just how much freer and more energetic you feel when you get some of those choices off your plate.
If something isn’t in your schedule, then it DOES NOT EXIST. Does it seem a bit lazy to you to include the same thing twice in a row? It’s not. It’s very intentional. And I’ll say it over and over repeatedly until every agent I see is living by a tightly designed schedule that maximizes their HABU (highest and best use of time).
Freedom is not deciding what you’re going to do now. Freedom is always knowing what you’re going to do and where it’s going to lead you. That’s power. 3D test everything in my schedule. Do I Do It? Do I Delegate It? Do I Dump It?
Decision Fatigue Destroyer No. 2: Morning & Night Routines.
Another thing you’ll hear me talk about over and over. Your mindset is the most important thing you have going for you. It’s more important than the money in your bank or the people you know, because with the right mindset all the rest will come.
And your mindset begins in the morning. And your morning starts the night before. So, you better have your morning and night routines locked in. Start by going to sleep at the same time every night and waking up at the same time every day.
Lay your clothes out the night before and wake up knowing exactly what you’ll do first. Don’t just say, “I’m going to exercise, meditate, and eat breakfast.”Which one are you going to do first, second, and third? What kind of exercises are you going to do? Where and for how long are you going to meditate? What are you going to eat for breakfast?
Will you have the same thing tomorrow? How about on Sunday? When are you going to shop for it?
It is critical that you take the time to consider these choices now and then turn them into a routine. Otherwise, you’ll have to make these decisions every morning and every night. You’ll wake up indecisive, go to sleep feeling more drained than before, and won’t rest nearly as well. If you don’t have your routines locked down, you’re bleeding unnecessary energy.
Decision Fatigue Destroyer No. 3: SOPs for Everything.
Say it with me… Standard Operating Procedures… Those three words are going to save your sanity and your business as you begin to scale. That’s because they’re all about conquering decision fatigue.
As I’m sure you already know, an SOP is a documented step-by-step breakdown of some task or action in your business – how to do a listing presentation or what and when to give client appreciation gifts, for example. Having ANY SOP is tremendously helpful, but the true power happens when you begin to stack SOPs and create systems to manage your systems.
One of my coaching clients got serious about SOPs when she got serious about hitting 200+ listings taken in a single year. She knew that if she and her team were going to hit a number that ambitious, they couldn’t be juggling different aspects of so many transactions in their minds. Every email had to come from a proven template, every listing presentation had to be uniform and rock solid, and every team member needed to have their exact jobs written out so clearly that anyone could follow them.
She created SOPs for EVERYTHING and even wrote SOPs for how to create new SOPs. Now, the team is so systematized that she could pass you over all the documents and you could run her team for her.
Decision Fatigue Destroyer No. 4: Mastermind Groups & Guidance.
Most of this article is talking about how to make fewer decisions by not making the mundane decisions repeatedly daily – because it’s exhausting and unproductive.
But there’s another type of decision fatigue that comes from simply not knowing what to do. I’m seeing agents out there who wake up every day and decide to run plays that aren’t working just because they can’t decide what else they’re going to do or how to start. They don’t have a plan and they don’t have support.
When you have an important decision to make that’s draining your energy, you shouldn’t make them alone.
Napoleon Hill said that having a mastermind group was the most undervalued and important principle of success because multiple minds working together are infinitely more powerful than one working alone.
So, if you’re not going to hire a coach (which you should), you need to find a community of like-minded, dedicated agents to help you brainstorm your problems and hold you accountable. Can you think of a place to find people like that? I can.
The reason why thousands of real estate agents got into the business was they want to make more money. And that’s why one of the things I am sharing is how to set financial goals. “I want to make more money” is not a goal; it’s a half-assed statement that’s going to keep your intentions vague and your bank account on the line of “safe.”
Do you want “safe” or do you want “comfortable and secure?” The sad fact is that 80%of all people will end up flat-broke when it comes time to retire. That doesn’t have to be you. That’s why in this week’s blog, I’ll show you just a bit of the type of information about how to set financial goals and put practices in place to achieve them. Once you know what you’re aiming for, you’re no longer shooting in the dark. So let’s dive right in and shed some light on your finances.
How to Set Financial Goals, Step 1: Find Your Cost of Living.
This one is very simple, but unfortunately, few real estate agents take the time to do this. All you have to do is add up the total costs of everything it takes to run your life:
Rent/mortgage + utilities
Marketing and business expenses
Car payment
Food and medications
Fun and entertainment
Taxes
Savings
Add up any payments or regular expenses you can think of, then tack on an extra $1,000 because who knows what could happen in life. You could get sick, or your car could break down or you could end up spending a little too much on dinner. This is your Survival Goal. It’s what you need to make consistently every single month just to stay above water. It will not give you a better life and it will not allow you to ever retire.
How to Set Financial Goals, Step 2: Your Good Life + Dream Goals (Phase 1)
Let’s take it up a step. What would it look like if you were closing a few more deals and living a realistically better life? Think about that next-step-up home you want to own. How much does it cost? What about a more desirable car? What would your vacations look like? Get in a relaxed mode and visualize it. Then get on the computer and look up the actual prices. Add them up. Do everything the same as you did with finding your survival goal, then tack on an additional $3,000. This is your Good Life Goal. Now take it even a step further. If everything went perfectly for you in the next 12 months and the money was flowing in, what would your business look like? How much would you be spending on marketing with all your new lead gen sources? Where would you be living? This is your dream life, and once you know how much it costs, you have your Dream Goal.
How to Set Financial Goals, Step 3: Adjust for the Future.
It’d be so nice and easy if we could just stop at step 2 and live in dreamland, wouldn’t it? Unfortunately, that’s how you become a member of the 80% of agents who will be working until they die. What you need to do now is find the REAL numbers it will take to live those life goals now and in the future. Do a 10-year forecast of your life, imagining that at the end of these 10 years, you’re going to step away from your business and just live. Write down all three goals, then multiply each by 12 (to bring them to a yearly amount), then multiply them by 10 (for ten years). Let’s say your Good Life Goal is $125,000 a year. Over 10 years, that means you’ll have made $1,250,000. Now let’s start cutting this down.
35% goes to taxes 25% to running your business 25% to running your home Leaving 15% that you either saved or invested
Going by this, at the end of 10 years, you can now comfortably live your same lifestyle for a remarkable ONE YEARand some months! Pretty scary huh? That’s why you need to start thinking about these things now. This step is not over until you find a 10-year number that you’re comfortable with. You either need to start cutting down on some of the expenses or raise the number entirely.
How to Set Financial Goals, Step 4: Choose Your Who and Why.
I’m not perfect; I’m human, just like everyone else. And that means I’ve found that I’m capable of breaking the promises that I make to myself. But what I’ve also noticed is that I NEVER break a promise that I make to others – especially those I care about. Most people won’t tirelessly grind day-in and day-out just for themselves, but they will do it for their spouse, their kids, their parents, or their coach. You need accountability. I need accountability. We all need it. It’s the cornerstone of greatness. Find yours. Don’t skip this step.
How to Set Financial Goals, Step 5: Decide Where Your Money Will Flow.
We’ve already talked about breaking your money down into categories. If all that money stays in one account, then those are just invisible boxes that will stay in your head and soon fade away to nothing. I sincerely hope that you’re not depositing your checks into a personal checking account. If you are, stop that now and open a business account. I’m not your financial advisor, so the type of account you choose to open is between you and them. But once you have that business account open, you need to start opening a few more accounts and moving the money appropriately right away into each:
Tax account Home account Fun account Savings account Investment account (Don’t make the mistake of not buying enough of your own product) Business expenses account
How to Set Financial Goals, Step 6: Make a Commitment.
You’ve decided what you want, refined it, chosen a strategy to get you there, set up accountability, and put your banking system in order. Now I want you to make a written and verbal promise to those holding you accountable that says you will follow this plan and achieve these goals by doing everything you possibly can. It’s time to become the best possible version of yourself because now your ass is on the line.
“We become what we think about most of the time, and that’s the strangest secret.”
To an extent, we were all just going to do what we’re all going to do, and isn’t that such an enormous relief? After all, most of the time, we work with what we have to work with, we gravitate towards the things that make us happy, we source ideas and inspiration that are wholly unique and individual to us, and most of those processes are not even necessarily conscious, let alone active. People emerge from the womb a blank slate and fill the space with the things they’re naturally interested in. However, to be successful with what you want takes something behind active measures: you have to know yourself, make a practice out of your dreams, angle yourself towards the “You” who has always dwelled in your mind, and work hard at being Your Best Self. But the rest? Just keep dreaming. Earl Nightingale (1921-1989) | American author & radio personality
1. Defeatist – a person who is accepting, expecting, or being resigned to defeat. Often linked to pessimism in psychology. How many of us have thought about defeat before we have even begun?
2. Cynical – a person who believes people are motivated by self-interest. They are distrustful of human nature and motives. How many of us question others sincerity and integrity.
3. Vindictive – a person who has or shows a strong and unreasoning desire for revenge. Have you ever met someone that is always out to get back at someone else?
4. Blame/Fault – a person who assigns responsibility to someone or something else. How many of us are the “who cares?” “what are we going to do now?” type of people.
5. Wishful – a person who expresses the desire or hope of something to happen even though it is not happening. They do what they can to influence the project, situation, deal and just keep moving.
6. Self-pity – an excessive, self-absorbed unhappiness over your own troubles. Have you met someone that needs to get over themselves … stop making excuses … no more drama or complaints?
7. Worrisome – a person who is full of anxiety and concern. Worrying won’t help, costs you time, and can drag you and others down.
8. Jealous– a person feeling or showing envy of someone or their achievements and advantages. If you want that achievement, then earn it!
9. Pre-argumentative – a person who builds their own imaginary argument and prepares themselves for the argument that may never happen. Imagine the energy and time we waste doing this?
10. Procrastinate – a person who always delays or postpones action and puts off doing something. If you’re going to procrastinate, it makes sense to do something fun instead of thinking about how bad it is you’re procrastinating.
Eliminating these thoughts might be impossible but minimizing them (and their impact) is completely doable. Here is the approach to eliminating these wasteful thoughts…
• Recognize them when they come up.
• Remind yourself they’re a costly distraction.
• Redirect your thinking (and/or doing) to something positive.
Embrace the simplicity by staying inspired and remember these are not our own thoughts, we just have friends with these kinds of wasteful thoughts 😉
I don’t know about you but the first 6 months of the year and then my summer seemed to just fly by, and I cannot believe it is September 2023 already. The landscape of real estate looks a lot different now for a lot of us and I am sure we are all asking the question to ourselves, NOW WHAT?
We are beginning the last quarter of the year and for real estate sales professionals there are only two outcomes for us all. Will you finish in the red, or finish in the black? Will you finish strong, or will you miss your targets and goals? Winning near the end of a game, final quarter or the year is a trait of all the best salespeople I’ve ever met.
Closing out strong is primarily the effect of a consistent quarter, there are still a handful of things you can do to strike off checkboxes in the win column to finish Q4 and your 2023 strong.
1. Be Active– There’s no substitute for being pleasantly persistent and respectfully blunt. Get out there and be straightforward. Acting and getting after it is a choice and work on the high-quality leads and not the low-quality leads. Ask yourself “If you were me, would you forecast this listing or buyer prospect to buy or sell this month or in the next 90 days?” Remember, the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. Being direct will help you get real with your buying and selling customers and align yourself with the true sales cycle. It might also enable you to pull out a quick win.
2. Be Relational – For more than two decades now I have heard from thousands of top producing agents and almost 60% of their business comes from repeat and referral business. Focusing first on the people we already know, like and trust is working effectively and efficiently in this business. If you don’t have enough people that know, like and trust you then get out there and “S.T.P. – See the People”If you have a list of relationships in place that have not “felt the love” then get out there and see them and find ways to add value to them. Give them a call, email, text, handwritten note, small gift or even a coffee and just watch and see what happens with your last quarter.
3. Be Face to Face – Sales is a contact sport, and we need to be belly to belly. Anyone of us making a large buying decision needs to know the person we deal with is someone we like and can trust. The only way we can sense if we like or trust someone is meeting them in person. Commit to the final quarter on sales activities that are primarily face to face and belly to belly activities like Open house, door to door, kiosk, networking, office duty, coffee, lunch, pop by, volunteer, client appreciation event or convention. This is a relationships business so get out there to create and deepen those relationships.
4. Stack-Rank Your Leads – We will never be able to manufacture more time, but we can manufacture more focus. I recommend looking at your pipeline and grading each opportunity on a scale of 1-4 with 4 being “highly closeable by the end of the quarter.” Then, focus your closing efforts on the 3’s and 4’s ONLY. You don’t have time to waste. If you don’t have enough 3 and 4 prospects in the funnel then act and increase your marketing plan and daily prospecting, lead generation with planned marketing, activities that bring the level 3 and 4 prospects into your pipeline to finish Q3 strong.
5. Purge Your People – Almost every sales pro has them. They’re those big opportunities in the pipeline you’ve been working for months. The one deal that constantly disrupts your focus or the need to act. The buyer or seller who is the time and energy vampire, but you let them suck the life out of you because you don’t have anyone else to work with. Every time you think about punting them, you get a glimmer of hope from them. It’s time……Remove them!! They don’t deserve to be on your radar right now. Coming clean with yourself will open new vistas and invigorate you to add more productive opportunities to your pipeline.
6. Start Planning for 2024 – How much revenue do you plan to book in Q1 2024? Exactly how many new deals do you need to earn that amount? Knowing exactly what you plan to earn acts like a magnet to attract business your way. Having this exact number also allows you to project your required activities into month one of the new quarters. If you’re accurately measuring your deal metrics, you’ll be able to predict with some certainty how many calls, emails, appointments, presentations, or opportunities you’ll need to make it rain. Ask for a review by management. Knowing your numbers is one thing, but to positively affect the business, it’s equally vital to understand your “why”, purpose and goals and have someone hold you accountable to them.
Bonus Tips: What NOT to Do in the last Quarter Of 2023
1. Don’t Work with Any Clients Just to Make your Numbers – Any client outside of your ideal customer profile will complicate servicing, produce a higher likelihood of churn or failure, and ultimately cost you more time and resources than it will be worth. Instead, focus on filling the pipeline with high quality leads for next quarter. It’s never too early to start filling the funnel.
2. Never Give Away More Than You Should – It’s just not worth it. You only have one reputation for your brand and offering, treat it respectfully. Concessions can quickly become a crutch that hides other issues. Sell on value, not on price. Don’t cut your commissions, offer cash backs or any other silly incentives just to get something before the year is done.
The key to closing out your quarter strong is to keep up the momentum that got you to where you are now. If you’re struggling to meet your numbers, it’s a time to embrace new sales insights and start building effective rhythm. Take the last-minute shots on goal listed above but remember to always be thinking about the bigger picture: Your reputation is the product of your past actions. Sales that allow you to produce predictable revenue are the future. Finish the last quarter and your year strong. I dare you!!
Well, it is the final week of summer and August 2023. Are you like me and tired of never really taking a vacation from real estate or more importantly, is your family and friends tired of going on vacation with you because you’re working remotely? Now be honest, did you take a vacation this summer and sit on your phone or tablet, texting or emailing while the rest of your family sat by the pool and enjoyed the waves crashing on the beach while you were working remotely the whole time? Is that what a vacation for real estate agents is supposed to look like?
Is there something very wrong with our mindset and business set up that can’t allow us to vacation 3 or 4 weeks a year and not have to work remotely? What would a vacation be like with no mobile devices, no internet connection and cell phone reception completely unplugged and off the real estate grid? What about to be in the moment and present with the most important people in your life? I need you to believe this is possible and here are some strategies that can make this type of vacation as a real estate agent a reality!!
Have a business plan with 3-4 weeks a year vacation planned.
Have a licensed real estate professional covering your vacation times for you.
Emails forwarded to a licensed real estate professional who responds to them on your behalf
Auto Email responder set up explaining you are not available and who to contact if important.
Voice message on mobile explaining you are not available and who to contact if important.
Give your mobile device to the agent covering to answer and respond to your calls, texts, voice messages and pages on your behalf.
Partner with another agent and cover for them and their business for 3-4 weeks a year.
Choose to unplug and not bring your smart phone, tablet or laptop computers on your vacation and leave them to the covering agent.
Compensate the covering agent in some way whether it’s a gift, thank you dinner or a referral fee. I believe we all need to show appreciation and feel appreciated.
Leave detailed notes of all your listings, names, phone numbers, emails, sales, leads, etc. for the covering agent to manage your business better for you.
If it is meant to be then it is up to me!
Choose to be on vacation and enjoy it, especially when you are spending your hard-earned money to create those moments, experiences, and memories with the most important people in your life that will last a lifetime. Be present in the moment and really relax and enjoy your time away and reload and re-energize to be able to come back and do amazing things in your business.
Does it make sense to show sellers how you go above and beyond even before you meet? Would you care to learn a small sampling of what will set you apart from the competition? So many real estate agents today are missing the greatest tool for creating a raving fan and telling your story… It’s called the Pre Seller-Package!
So, Wade why would you implement this type of program into your business? I thought you’d never ask… Here are 6 benefits:
Makes the listing appointment easier.
Makes getting the signature easier (this alone should be worth it)
Builds your credibility as a realtor quicker.
Builds the rapport earlier.
Qualifies the client earlier than later.
Creates a lingering experience for the seller before you meet.
I love the idea of sending the prelisting package via courier, with your assistant or better yet, deliver it by hand yourself to the seller prior to your listing appointment and WOWing and awing them before your actual listing appointment. Who doesn’t like surprises at their door? Most realtors struggle with what they put in the package. AND… How should the package be presented? Here are some ideas to help you get started.
1.) Biography… Info on you 2.) Resume 3.) Info/stats on you and your company track record 4.) Samples of your marketing plan – all things you do 5.) Personal handwritten note or letter 6.) Testimonials 7.) Statistics and Reports 8.) Personal Guarantee – easy out listing agreement. 9.) Checklists 10.) Step-by-step process for listing with you and your company 11.) DVD’s – by trainer David Knox “How to Choose an Agent” “Preparing Your Home to Sell” “Pricing Your Home to Sell.” 12.) Popcorn and Pop (why not?) 13.) You can then package all this up into a gift basket or place all the items in a nice, branded vinyl envelope. Create a branded gift box or my personal favorite is Jack Cotton’s prelisting hard cover bound book with glossy paper, which is just first class. I recommend something that will impress your potential client upon arrival.
What do you think this type of package would do to your closing ratio for listing appointments? Or what would it do to your advocacy and sharing with others why they would choose you and your service? I challenge you… Dare to be different and rise above the competition without even saying a word.
How does our brain create fear? What makes us afraid?
