Dealing With Uncertainty as a REALTOR©
If this year has taught us anything, it’s uncertainty. Although we may see the light at the end of the tunnel with the vaccine accessible to most, it’s going to take a while to shake off the trauma 2020 delivered. Uncertainty flooded our everyday lives—between not knowing when our health and safety wouldn’t be under threat, to not understanding the different restrictions state to state, to simply not knowing when our daily lives would resume to normal. It was tough to swallow. But this is not the only time in our lives that we will face uncertainty. 2020 was unique because uncertainty plagued all of our lives. Typically, uncertainty strikes different people at different times. Ideally, the following tips will help aid you through this year, but also in years to come. Here are some best practices on how to cope when uncertainty strikes:
- Uncertainty is never permanent. Or better put, uncertainty is always temporary. No matter what you’re going through, this period of crisis will pass. No matter how long ago March 2020 feels, we all know that at some point our lives will return to normal. Although we don’t know when that will happen, it’s comforting to know that every stressful season of uncertainty is temporary. Hold on to the knowledge that the stress and anxiety has an expiration date, regardless of how acute it feels today.
- Predictability = safety + security. In order to feel like we are in control, we need two things: safety and security. Without either, our lives tend to feel like they’re spiraling. That’s why 2020 felt so chaotic and traumatic for so many; our daily routines and coping mechanisms were stripped away because of safety concerns. Without our typical fallbacks, we felt insecure. And for obvious reasons, many of us did not feel safe all year. So whenever you feel out of control with no method to predict what’s coming next, try to ground yourself through safety and security. Create a routine and stick to it. Focus on things that are inside of your control instead of depending on others to follow through (cc: mask etiquette). Together, these aspects can give you a sense of predictability and control in your life.
- Hold space for negative emotions. PSA: It is absolutely OK to not be OK. Sometimes, it’s absolutely necessary to not feel OK. We as a culture have a problem with toxic positivity. We love to airbrush over troubled times and pretend that everything is peachy keen, even as the world as we know it is crumbling around us. Thanks, Instagram! Combat this urge to gloss over the ugly emotions by embracing them. Give them a name. Understand them. Ask them to come inside and offer them a warm beverage and a salty snack. Welcome them with curiosity and compassion. And once you get to know them, release them back to where they came from. Trying to sweep negative emotions under the rug only gives them more power. They exist. And they’re not going anywhere until you give them acknowledgement, and sometimes, a voice. This doesn’t mean you have to be consumed by them. In fact, holding space for negative emotions does just the opposite. It gives them a time and a place to be heard so they can leave in a timely manner and not wreak havoc on the rest of your day. This is why so many people tend to bounce back. They acknowledge their emotions and therefore make room for other positive emotions soon after.So don’t be afraid to get comfortable with the icky feelings you’re actively trying to push away. The sooner you make space for them, the sooner they’ll pass.
- Accept your reality. During times of acute uncertainty, it’s almost instinctual to wish for easier times. We love to recreate reality in our imagination in order to cope. But we can’t change our reality. And when the dissonance between what we wish was reality and what is actually reality comes to a head, it’s easy to feel despondent and depressed. Don’t set yourself up for failure. Instead, accept the reality of whatever situation you’re in and work to adapt to that. If you continue to force a false narrative on yourself, you’ll spin your wheels until you are forced to surrender. Instead, get creative within your reality. For example, plenty of 2020 brides eloped instead of having the 200-person gala, and ended up loving their intimate moments. Zoom happy hours replaced restaurant happy hours. Romantic restaurants with all of the fixings popped up in living rooms everywhere. Those who made the best of what they could were also the ones who quickly accepted the new norm and adjusted in suit. The quicker you can accept your reality and abandon your fantasies, the easier dealing with the real world will be.
- Simplify your life. “K-I-S-S. Keep it simple, stupid” If you try to overwhelm yourself with the complexities of life during any time of uncertainty, you’re just piling it on yourself for absolutely no reason. Go back to the basics. What do you need to accomplish today? You probably need to get out of bed, feed yourself, clean yourself, clothe yourself, do your job (whatever that entails), take time for yourself, connect with others and sleep. So please don’t try to make it any more difficult for yourself than it already is. When in survival mode, we need the basics to anchor us. The things that we know we need to do, and that we even like to do, during times of crisis. The rest can fall off until things stabilize. So if you are pressuring yourself to do more than necessary, you’re only adding additional chaos to an already delicate situation. Go easy on yourself. Keep it simple. There will be a time in the future when things will go back to normal, and you can be your complicated, over-achieving, hard-worker self. I promise.
- Set yourself up for success. Humans love progression. We like feeling in control of our situations, and we like seeing growth happening right before our eyes. So one of the easiest ways to feel better about yourself during times of acute uncertainty, is to create small actionable goals for yourself to cross off a list. Seriously, the smaller the better. Think: taking your supplements; drinking a certain amount of water per day; walking X amount of steps; cleaning your room… Hell, taking a shower can even count on some days. And, each and every time you achieve one of your small goals, celebrate. Give yourself a pat on the back for surviving during one of the harder times of your life. We don’t give ourselves enough credit most days – and in times like this – we could use all of the self-confidence we can get. So be sure to show up for yourself by keeping the small promises you’re making, and by celebrating when you’ve followed through with them.
- Practice self-care. Self-care can be defined as anything you do to rest, reset or reflect. At its best, self-care is used to refill your cup. We all need to nourish ourselves and our energy, and the best and fastest way to do this is to engage in self-care. However, self-care is typically the first thing that goes out the window during times of crisis. We decide we have to focus on everything else—our jobs, our finances, our families, and our friends. But without caring for ourselves first, the rest of these will inevitably suffer. Even though it feels impossible, carve out time for yourself. If you neglect yourself, you won’t be able to show up as your full self whenever times are tough. Replenish your energy and invest in your own happiness and relaxation. You’ll see the benefits rather quickly if you stay consistent. To everyone feeling hyper-stressed out thanks to a grueling year, I’m with you. I hope these tips bring you some comfort, solace and relief from the chronic pressure you’ve been experiencing. And remember, uncertainty is never permanent. This will pass. But in the meantime, these tips will help you cope until we are back into our natural routines and rhythms.
Strength and courage,
Wade
2. The Conversion Code by Chris Smith. – This book by Chris Smith, who I’ve watched and learned from afar, is one of THE best books for real estate agents on internet lead generation and conversion. I read this book in the summer of 2017. I had already been doing internet lead generation for years in a big way but got WAY more out of this book than I could have ever imagined. It has since quadrupled my lead generation and vastly improved my conversion process.
3. 6 Steps to 7 Figures by Pat Hiban. – I’ve listened to his podcast, Real Estate Rockstars for years. He’s interviewed some of the best minds in real estate. This book is his step-by-step guide to creating success in real estate. All steps are relevant and spot on to truly having success in this business. Pat’s all about actionable content so be prepared to have a lot to do after reading this book.
4. Your First Year in Real Estate by Dirk Zeller. – It’s no mystery that your first year in real estate is likely going to be the most challenging year you face. Many agents give up before even hitting their one year mark. Much of this is due to expectations of agents that get into the business. With Dirk Zeller’s book, Your First Year in Real Estate, he shares the proper expectations and gives solid advice on how agents should spend each day throughout the year. He also shares some of the common pitfalls that new agents make, saving you some time and energy.
5. The E-Myth Revisited By Michael Gerber. – For the first two years in my general real estate career, I was a real estate agent that WANTED to be a business owner but didn’t know how to create the success I was looking for. I was a great agent so I assumed it would be easy to run a great real estate business. If anything being a good agent has been the biggest hamstring on running a successful business and this book exemplifies exactly why that is and how to fix it. I still don’t have it all figured out but I’m getting closer each day and this book is a major reason why.
6. Exactly What To Say The Magic Words For Influence and Impact By Phil Jones – This book is so good for understanding the power of our words. It shares the top 23 most powerful phrases on the art of influence and impact. I was amazed to learn why we say things and why they have impact or not. Definitely a book you really need to sit down with and journal and study and watch the impact it will have in your personal and professional lives. Phil Jones is a master in communication and you will be glad you read this book.
7. Never Split The Difference. Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It By Chris Voss. – There is very little training and support in this topic for real estate professionals and it amazes me that most of us like myself learn to negotiate by practicing and screwing it up on our clients. One of the best books I have read on the topic of negotiation and highly recommend this book if you really want to take your skills to the next level.
8. The Go-Giver By Bob Burg. – An easy but powerful read for all real estate agents as you learn The Five Laws OF Stratospheric Success from the master himself Bob Burg. This book is still one of my all time favorite reads and pick it up once a year just to give me perspective and insight. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.
9. The Sales Bible By Jeffrey Gitomer. – “The Sales Bible” is a catalog of sales tips and rule of thumbs, which every salesperson should know. Jeffrey Gitomer gives useful advice to selling in an unfavorable economy, which is truly motivating and inspiring. I highly recommend this useful book, to all salespeople who need all the encouragement they can get.
10. The Energy Bus By John Gordon. – I believe that the key to success is energy management and not time management. This book is a fantastic fable that will help you create positive energy with ten simple rules and make it the center of your life, work, and relationships.
11. Think And Grow Rich By Napolean Hill – Financial management is one of the greatest challenges for so many real estate professionals. Reading this book and learning the foundational principles changed my life and allowed me to avoid the common financial pitfalls I see in so many real estate professionals. A must read indeed!
12. UnSelling By Scott Stratten. – I could list so many books about customer service that you need to read and the art of delivering the unexpected and creating raving fans. This is one of my personal favorites “UnSelling” is about the big picture: creating repeat customers, not one-time buyers; creating loyal clients that refer others, not treating people like faceless numbers; becoming the go-to company for a product or service, before people even need it.
There was a time in most of our lives when we had no fear. That feeling when we jumped from the jungle gym and slammed our little bodies to the ground. Perhaps it was when we went on our first roller coaster, or when we were in high school or college and felt there was nothing we couldn’t do. No goal was unattainable. We were an unstoppable force that would think of something and then make it happen. Then, as time goes by, the world tells us more frequently we can’t do what we want. The doubters laugh at our goals and try to persuade us from going after our dreams. They say, “You’re crazy. It’s too hard. Why don’t you do this instead? You should play it safe.” They act as if dreams were meant for others but not people like us. They surround us with negative energy and try to instill their own fears and insecurities in us. We not only begin to know the word “fear”, we start to understand what it’s like to be fearful. With so many people telling us we can’t do something and so few telling us we can, it’s hard not to let fear into our lives. Unfortunately, this is how many of us go through life, myself included at times. As a 